Consciousness and Sexuality's topics - tribe.net

Androgony... not a sexual... nor bi... nor gay..,..

2008-11-21T16:00:57Z

There are not that many of us, but I am one of those....

Androgyne
Androgyne derives from two Greek words, but makes its first appearance as a compound word in Rabbinic Judaism (see, e.g., Genesis Rabba 8.1; Leviticus Rabba 14.1), most probably as an alternative to the Greek Pagan-related usage of hermaphrodite.

The Online Etymology Dictionary dates its appearance in English to 1552, although it is sometimes (wrongly) claimed to have been coined by Prof. Sandra Bem, who helped to popularise the concept.

An androgyne in terms of gender identity, is a person who does not fit cleanly into the typical masculine and feminine gender roles of their society. They may also use the term ambigender to describe themselves. Many androgynes identify as being mentally "between" woman and man, or as entirely genderless. They may class themselves as non-gendered, genderneutral, agendered, between genders, Intergendered, bigendered or, genderfluid[citation needed]

Androgyne was once used as a synonym for hermaphrodite, a term since replaced by the word intersex[citation needed].

Prof. Sandra Bem's work on androgyny preceded the current widespread use of the term as a gender identity, and uses the term more in terms of character traits than core gender identity. She considers an androgyous balance of traits to be desirable, stating that those who are able to draw on both traditionally masculine and feminine emotions and behaviours are best able to cope with life's challenges in a well-rounded way.

[edit] Androgynous traits
Androgynous traits are those that either have no gender value, or have some aspects generally attributed to the opposite gender. Physiological androgyny (compare intersex), which deals with physical traits, is distinct from behavioral androgyny which deals with personal and social anomalies in gender, and from psychological androgyny, which is a matter of gender identity.[citation needed]

To say that a culture or relationship is androgynous is to say that it lacks rigid gender roles and that the people involved display characteristics or partake in activities traditionally associated with the other gender. The term androgynous is often used to refer to a person whose look or build make determining their gender difficult but is generally not used as a synonym for actual intersexuality, transgender or two-spirit people. Occasionally, people who do not actually define themselves as androgynes adapt their physical appearance to look androgynous. This outward androgyny has been used as a fashion statement, and some of the milder forms of it (women wearing men's trousers/men wearing skirts, for example) are not perceived as transgendered behavior.

Lesbians who don't define themselves as butch or femme may identify with various other labels including androgynous or andro for short. A few other examples include lipstick lesbian, tomboy, and 'tom suay' which is Thai for 'beautiful butch'. Some lesbians reject gender performativity labels altogether and resent their imposition by others. Note that androgynous and butch are often considered equivalent definitions, though less so in the butch/femme scene.

The recently-coined word genderqueer is often used to refer to androgynes, but the terms genderqueer and androgyne (or androgynous) are neither equivalent nor interchangeable. Genderqueer is not specific to androgynes, does not denote gender identity, and may refer to any person, cisgender or transgender, whose behavior falls outside conventional gender norms. Furthermore, genderqueer, by virtue of its linkage with queer culture, carries sociopolitical connotations that androgyne does not carry. For these reasons, some androgynes may find the label genderqueer inaccurate, inapplicable, or offensive.

An androgyne may be attracted to people of any sex or gender, though many identify as pansexual or asexual. Terms such as bisexual, heterosexual, and homosexual have less meaning for androgynes who do not identify as men or women to begin with. Infrequently the words gynephilia and androphilia are used, which refer to the gender of the person someone is attracted to, and do not imply any particular gender on the part of the person who is feeling the attraction.

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 2 replies

Energy cords?

2008-11-21T02:25:36Z

The level that most people are not aware of, and that is important for the focus of this column, is energetically. When we give power away to other people because our relationship with self is dysfunctional, we actually allow cords of energy to tie us to those people. These cords (ribbons, cables, tethers, threads, strands) of energy exist on the Etheric plane - which is where the Life Force energy runs through the chakra system."
I got this from a co-dependency web site.
What are energy cords? How do they work? Can you cut them? Is it wise to cut these cords or work with them? When would you know if you need to cut a cord or not? Please explain.

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 9 replies

sexual energy-suppression or transformation

2008-11-18T04:26:55Z

hi..

suppression is the worst thing that one can do with one's self.......but indulgence is as harmful as suppression.So whats the way ???

Awareness is the way,to transform the sexual energy,one has to be aware of it so that it can be transformed.check this out

http://kundalinisodarshan.blogspot.com/

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 3 replies

Time of choice

2008-11-15T15:59:35Z

Now more than ever we are confronted with the choice of our fast ascension into life or our slow death.
Is your Soul thriving or are you numbing to the survival struggle of existing?
The Phoenix DNA Re-newal coding delivered by infinity at the autumn equinox has us in the heat og the cauldron.
For more awareness... see www.gfc.uk.net

Much love to you all
Sunfeather

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 2 replies

OT; A charter of compassion written by the world, now is the time to chime in....

2008-11-13T17:21:37Z

Dear TEDizens,

We urge you to take a moment to watch a short video that went live on the web today. Beautifully filmed and edited by TEDster Jesse Dylan and his team at Form TV, it might just be the most inspiring thing you see this week.

That video, and this website mark the launch of an inspiring global endeavor to celebrate compassion and to promote a new collaboration between the world's religions. What we're doing, starting today, is to begin writing the Charter for Compassion that Karen Armstrong called for earlier this year when she made her TED Prize wish. And the exhilarating twist here is that the writing won't be done behind closed doors. It will be done by you... and perhaps millions of others around the world. Because we're using special collaborative web tools created by the geniuses at Kluster to enable this be truly a charter "created by the world for the world".

Later this week millions of Muslims, Christians, and Jews will be sent an email inviting them to come to the site and offer their choice of words, in their own language, to help create a charter capable of inspiring the world to focus on what the great religions share, as opposed to what divides them. Already people are responding to this amazing idea with passion and excitement. The goal is to obtain all input from global participants within the next four weeks, select the best contributions with the help of a council of religious "sages", and conduct a major launch of the finished document in 2009.

We'd love you, the TED community, who saw the birth of this idea in March, to be among the first to contribute.

The two things you can do to help now:

1. Help us write the Charter! The first writing phase begins now with the Preamble, a concise explanation of why the Charter is necessary and urgent.

2. Send out the ask to everyone in your network. We want this to be a truly global and diverse document that represents all of our voices.

A very exciting day for the TED Prize. We are honored to have you on this journey with us.

Thank you to all of you who have helped get us this far! And a special thank you to Kluster who have put so much into building this site.

Very best wishes,

Chris Anderson
TED Curator

Amy Novogratz
TED Prize Director

Background:

At TED2008 in March of this year, TED Prize winner Karen Armstrong was granted a wish to change the world. This is what she asked for:

"I wish that you would help with the creation, launch and propagation of a Charter for Compassion, crafted by a group of leading inspirational thinkers from the three Abrahamic traditions of Judaism, Christianity and Islam and based on the fundamental principles of universal justice and respect."

Since then support for idea has built among numerous religious groups, spiritual leaders such as Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Islamic scholar Tariq Ramadan, and Britain's first female Rabbi Julia Neuberger have joined a special Council to oversee the Charter, and Kluster, a collaborative decision making platform, has built a groundbreaking site that will allow anyone to contribute to the Charter.

www.CharterforCompassion.org

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 0 replies

power, violence, safety and sexuality

2008-11-03T09:46:14Z

It just occured to me that there is a connection between women being attracted to physically strong/powerful men due to the safety they can feel around them.

Women need safety to feel sexual, and if they feel like the world is a dangerous place, they may seek protection.. and interpret a strong men to be able to provide this needed protection.

Inherent in this notion is the acceptance of violence in the men she is attracted to. If she where to feel secure with a strong men, she feels secure with a person who can inflict fear in others, that has the potential to be violent against them, thusly making the woman feel protected.

This obviously can back fire, because the strong men sees violence as an acceptable means to protect his interest and sometimes the woman herself is seen as going against his interest.

So i am seeing an implicit acceptance of violence in women who are attracted to physically strong men.

what do you think?

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 20 replies

Ending Celibacy Consciously, Gracefully, Lovingly....

2008-11-02T07:13:35Z

I wonder, how will I end celibacy consciously, gracefully, and lovingly?
I love sex, intimacy, hugs, massages, and touch. I crave much more of these than I currently get.
How to gently end my celibacy with honor, and find somebody special with whom to share sensual touch, and possibly full-on sexual contact?
I think falling in love again would be great. I think marriage is a wonderful idea for me.
I have yet another Tribe friend who has found a sweet new love....

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 18 replies

11/8 - Introduction to Skydancing Tantra - Santa Clara, CA

2008-10-22T03:53:33Z

Introduction to Skydancing Tantra
with Chris English
Saturday, Nov 8, 2008 at Edges in Santa Clara, CA

Ever Wondered About Tantra?

Ever wondered about Tantra? Interested in improving your communications skills? In learning to build further intimacy and trust? Especially around the intersection of sexuality and spirituality? Curious about creating sacred space? Or about developing your connection with a partner?

Come find out how to use your body, your breath and your truth as tools to open a pathway for your sensations, expanding your consciousness and connection to others, moving from fear to trust and from desire into bliss.

Skydancing Tantra Teacher in Training

I'm currently studying with Margot Anand toward a certification to teach Skydancing Tantra. This is a several years long course of study involving a number of one week workshops and some weekend workshops. As part of my coursework, I've been assigned to teach quite a few one and two day workshops specifically on Skydancing Tantra. Other than the fact that I'm teaching these and many of them are being held in local BDSM play spaces, these classes are not specifically BDSM related. Anyone who is interested is welcome.

Skydancing Tantra

The vast body of knowledge and practices developed by Margot Anand is called SkyDancing Tantra: The Path to Bliss. Margot, along with her certified SkyDancing teachers, have taught SkyDancing Tantra to tens of thousands of people worldwide, through nine international SkyDancing institutes.

The path of SkyDancing Tantra came to Margot as a revelation rather than a tradition. Yet the path of the SkyDancer goes back to ancient Tibet, when Yeshe Tsogyal, the enlightened consort of Buddha Padmasambhava, was called the "Great Skydancer." Together they developed Tantric Buddhism. "Skydancers" in the Buddhist tradition were people of great passion who were profoundly devoted to spiritual awakening. The path of the SkyDancer is a path of spiritual partnership between men and women as equal spiritual partners integrating ecstatic states into their daily lives.

For more about Skydancing Tantra including further classes:

* Margot Anand - http://www.margotanand.com
* USA Skydancing Tantra Institute - http://www.skydancingtantra.org
* Steve & Lokita Carter - http://ecstaticliving.com
* Michael Pooley - http://ecstaticloving.net

Tell me more!

The next workshop will be held in Santa Clara, California at Edges, (http://edges.biz), from 10am to 6pm with a one hour break for lunch. There are several reasonable lunch alternatives nearby.

Class is $150 per couple and preregistration is required.

Couples may be of any gender and any orientation. If you are single and interested I encourage you to invite a friend and register as a couple. Exercises will be somewhat intimate although fully clothed so be sure to pick a friend with whom you are comfortable being intimate.

Sign us up!

You'll find a paypal registration button at the bottom of this page: http://teamnoir.name/Skydancing.html

If you have any questions, please feel free to email me: ice@noir.com

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 0 replies

Ecstatic relationship

2008-10-19T16:22:35Z

Hi friends,
please don't miss this wonderful interview with Stuart Sovatsky about the yoga of relationship...
http://www.futureprimitive.org/interviews/107

warm greetings
Zorro

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 0 replies

New Site

2008-09-18T02:04:08Z

Due to some of the issues that Tribe has been having lately, we've created a new site to visit and post info and ideas. www.thenewhumanelement.com Check it out tell us what you think?

Serenity

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 1 reply

Seven Chakra Sex

2008-09-16T15:08:13Z

Sounds awesome doesn't it.
I had the experience for the first time where I had sex with someone and felt like I was investing all of me in the process. It was the physical, it was the mental, emotional, my heart, my brain, my connection with my higher power.
I didn't feel like he was doing the same. I didn't know until later that having sex with all of me, all my chakras involved was possible.
I don't know where I'm going here. But I want more of it in my life, sex with all the chakras open and engaged. How can I work on this, for one I don't have a sex partner at the moment. But also it seems that few people are looking for this kind of engagment from thier sex lives?
I have never seen a book that is about sex in this way?
Any leads, any ideas?

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 19 replies

My personal take on sexuality, divinity, and consciousness...

2008-09-02T21:21:38Z

I'm not a religious man.

Oftentimes I've found -at risk of offending more pious sensitivities here- that religion is an excellent way to never get to know God. I mean really come face-to-face with the universal divine essence that is the source of all movement and evolution in the cosmos. Because religion is a social mechanism, the original art project, designed to unify a societal group by providing its individuals with a homogenic and simplified definition of the Divine and our role in it.

Being religious, and sincerely believing your religion to be pragmatic Truth is like reading a poem about a mountain, and mistaking the words n the page for the mountain itself. A poem about a mountain is not the mountain, just as a text about The Truth is not The Truth.

But I suppose it was as close as a band of illiterate goat herders in the middle of nowhere could come to understanding the nuances of the Cosmos.

As a caveat, I must declare presently that I do not feel I have a full understanding of the nuances of the Cosmos. I don't believe it's within the Human capacity to do so. It's like asking an ant to understand Quantum-field Thermodynamics. Just not equipped. So, instead we tell stories, metaphors, similes, and allegories so that our tiny ant minds can grasp a teeny little piece and hopefully glean a little benefit for our lives.

Which is all fine and good, until dudes with swords or nukes mistake the metaphor for literal truth.

I digress. I make the distinction between religion and the Divine because in the name of religion, many beautiful Human urges have been suppressed. Prominently among them is our sensual urge, our pleasure-seeking instinct so rarely found in the animal world.

In a broad sense, I'm kind of a Deist. It was the philosophical viewpoint of America's Founding Fathers (look it up). They weren't Christian, otherwise they never would have devised the ideal of division between church and state, and we'd be living in a witch-burning religious monarchy now. Nope they Deists. Which, to wit, means they believed in the design of the Universe as the proof of the Divine Will. Not a book, not a bunch of stories about impossible things like living in whales or splitting oceans in half, but rather the unfolding of a flower, the coming of seasons, or mankind's basic design were to be seen as clues to what God intended for us here on Earth. For example, if an animal has sharp teeth, it must be meant to be carnivorous. If a human being has urges, they must be also a part of God's design, and therefore not evil and imperfect.

The basic Human urges of sexual pleasure and consciousness expansion are prevalent across all societies. There isn't a tribe on Earth that doesn't get horny, and there isn't a tribe on Earth that has not developed a way to escape ordinary reality as a technique in seeking communion with The Divine. They are factors so ubiquitous in Humanity that it strains the mind to imagine how a benevolent God could wire us that way and yet forbid their usage. It's like having air-conditioning and a stereo in your car, but you aren't supposed to use them or you forfeit your vehicle. HUH?

But that is the thinking behind Original Sin, and the foundation for so much dysfunctional shame and hatred in our society.

I take issue with the concept of Original SIn. The general idea is nasty enough -that we are "born cursed" because of what someone else did. This is pure bullshit and makes me think the Judeo-Christian God is some kind of caustic asshole. My own experience of God is that he's definitely not an asshole, so I choose to see things differently.

In Genesis, Original Sin occurred when Eve was told *not* to go to The Tree Of Knowledge to eat the fruit. Which the Serpent later convinced her was a good idea. She ate it, lost her animal-like ignorance of ethics and philosophy, and quickly turned Adam on with the same fruit. They became conscious of their nakedness (sexuality), and God came out from behind a bush and said "HA! BUSTED!"

The whole idea seems, to borrow a word from a friend, squirrely.

I mean, if I was an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent God, and I sincerely wanted to avoid a Tree getting used by Humans, I feel I would have put it somewhere else, y'know, somewhere NOT in THE VERY CENTER OF THE GARDEN which I'd created as the home for those same Humans. I mean, a big, mostly empty Planet Earth, he could've put the Tree on the island of Bora-Bora. But no, he plants the Tree in the middle of the Garden, practically hangs Adam and Eve from it on a hammock, endows them with Free Will, and then says "Don't touch".

Yeah, right.

(By the way, Free WIll is the rarest substance in the Universe. Even angels don't possess Free Will. Well, according to that legend, the last angel who tried Free Will is now in a dark & roasty place.)

LUCIFER=Bringer Of Light

As such, it can be implied that Lucifer is the mythical bringer of illumination, the party responsible for our current enjoyment of consciousness & sexuality. They are congruent, if not synonymous. Consciousness and Sexuality were born of the same bite.

But what if we were TRICKED? What if the whole thing was a ploy to get us to *actually eat* of the Tree of knowledge?

(I speak metaphorically of course. I do not believe in a gigantic Mr. God with a beard sitting on a big throne in some science-fiction city orbiting thousands of miles above the Earth, nor do I believe literally the stories in Genesis or any other sacred text from anywhere in the world. But because these myths are so deeply ingrained in our conscious matrix, their examination serves as shorthand in re-programming the human mind. Myths are like an operating language for the Human experience.)

But yeah, TRICKED. because God (the real one, if any) isn't so stupid as to put a barrel of gasoline next to a fire, which is exactly what Genesis claims he did when he placed the Tree of Knowledge next to Human curiosity. So what if the whole set-up was an experiment to see what we would do? A taste test, if you will, with God playing Brand X and Serpent playing Brand Z. They tested the force of Human will and curiosity, and the result proved the subject worthy of receiving Godlike qualities of ability and perception?

This is a rare concept these days, but in the days of Gnosticism it had wider appeal. Ancient versions of Scripture attribute the creation of the Universe to a God OTHER than the one who forbade Humans the gifts of consciousness & sexuality which are inherent in the Apple. Apparently the God who made that silly rule was a minor Deity who mistakenly believes himself the Creator Of The Universe. An Idiot God, you might say. And a Gnostic path toward Divinity essentially aims to get past that petty demi-god and meet face-to-face with the real Creator who rests beyond him. I suppose that makes me also a Gnostic.

Essentially, I believe our natural drives toward spiritual ecstasy and sensual experience are a hard-won birthright. We had to prove ourselves worthy of these gifts by choosing them, and in so doing stand against a supposedly omnipotent force and embrace our own Free Will. Much as parents learn to respect their child as an individual only when they strike out on their own, only in this way could we have won the respect of God.

So for me, Sexuality and Consciousness are virtue and joy, and Divinity is not an untenable state, but a very real undercurrent present in everything that exists.

In essence, upon choosing to eat of the fruit of Knowledge, we became God's peers. No longer submissive, no longer subject, we now co-create the Universe as a team, God working great wonders through our Human capacities, and we coming ever & ever closer to an actual understanding of Divine Plan. In so doing, we create the world anew each day, and serve as a part of the engine of evolution and change in the cosmos.

(((M)))

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 12 replies

Power relationships and sex.........

2008-09-02T18:31:52Z

I'm not talking about BDSM at all. I'm not talking about hurting anyone for fun or any reason.

I'm talking about how different people have different amounts of power in their lives and how much they allow themselves to use their power can be experienced in the bedroom.
Does any relationship have an unequal power balance? How could two people have two exactly equal amounts of power at the same time? Do you play with these power inequalities ? I think one of the sexiest things on earth or powerful men. I noticed that men that feel powerful feel sexy. I also think it's the same for women. How has power and sexuality played out in your life?
I don't think power and sexuality is something discussed much in society. Women are often seen as less powerful, economically, etc.. Do you think this has an effect on the balance of power in a sexual relationship? I'm rambling, but it's just something I want to explore and if you have any experiences or thoughts, please do tell. The juicier the better !

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 6 replies

New Goddess Empowering Paintings

2008-09-02T18:15:42Z

These paintings capture true essence with an abstract view of the goddess female. They are located on my profile if you are interested in empowering female energy around you.

Bless

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 1 reply

RE-MEMBER

2008-08-24T21:02:23Z

RE-MEMBER

There is a dancer in you
Moving,
Shaking,
Making you jump,
Run
Up and
down

She never wanna stop
She never wanna stay
She never gets enough
Nor knows how to obey

The dancer in you is prayer
A Seeker
A player

But the prayer forgot her song
The seeker lost her mother tong
And the player doesn’t know more to whom the play belong

You dance was made in rhythmic divine
Your body was the juicy secret,
The mystic wine
Your song
The sublime creation
Your lips
The tantratic temple of sensation

Re-member me
And
Re-member
You
Are
Mine.

Love&Respect,
Shervin

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 0 replies

Loving Beyond Fear

2008-08-18T12:47:26Z

Hi Everyone,

I have added some new articles to my blog. If you have not visited my blog, or have not visited in a while I hope you will check it out. The newest article is called Loving Beyond Fear. My blog can be found by visiting my website http://www.lindawhitedove.com and clicking on the menu link that says "blog."

Linda

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 0 replies

California sexual qalchemy group, seeking members

2008-08-12T18:29:29Z

Coven of the Phoenyx is a new alternative lifestyle coven in southern,California. It is our desire to become one with the spiritual/physical balance that the God/desses wished for all humanity in the beginning.

We believe:
That the physical natures and desires are inspired and created by the God/desses.
These natures were meant to be together in all aspects of our lives.
Due to dogmatic xtian belief systems, people have been taught to be ashamed of expressing their natural senses.
That you are a special inspiration of the God/desses and your natural self, both physical/spiritual self were meant to be celebrated in a positive and wise manner.
You are NOT born a :sinner."
When people finally realize/scknowledge the connection between the physical/spiritual/natural worlds, there will be a dawning of new wisdom, and enjoyment of life.
The coven will consist of the following practices;
Worship of Bucchus, Aphrodite, and ALL pagan Diety
Eclectic Paganism
Spiritual Dance/Drumming
Love Magick
Polyamory
Naturism
We will also plan field trips for events as well. This Coven will also be multi-tradition in a very liberal sense.

Mel

We can be found in the yahoogroups.

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 2 replies

Food has strong sexual influence

2008-08-09T23:27:59Z

Hello Everyone. I would just like to be a mirror to reflect the truth for you all in your search to transcend any form of suffering.
I have noticed that when i eat unhealthy food my sexual desire increases ALOT. maybe not only does it increase, but also takes unhealthy routes towards fufillment.
For example, everytime i eat alot of dairy and sugar i get really horny. but its not a nice feeling, its a feeling irritation. Fast food, unatural food, difficultly digested food and meat is bad for you, and makes you unaturally horny.(not free)
the point is having a healthy, natural diet, low on the food chain, makes you have less craving, therefore more fufillment and satisfaction.

Truth & Love

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 17 replies

Desire, age and sex

2008-08-08T23:17:35Z

Hello. I have recently learned that mens sexualtiy is strongest from age 16-20 and womens from 18-35! So if you are a young male and going crazy, just notice it and be aware it will change, and dont get identifed and become a slave to your hormone. just being aware changes the way you feel and act.
take care

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 18 replies

Burning Man 2008 Hedonic Sensuous Massage Campmates

2008-08-04T18:35:05Z

We are the organizers of the Burning Man 2008 Hedonic Sensuous Massage theme camp. Join us in offering sensuous massages to fellow "burners". No experience necessary. You only need to be a normally sensual person and willing to learn. We are a fun-loving group of amateur yet erotic men and women who seek the same to serve the community with an exceptional experience of a lifetime with the goal being their most enjoyable, happy, and sensuous massage ever. If interested, call Aloha and SoundMan at (775) 233-3608 and check out Aloha's myspace.com site "Aloha BRC Burner" at http://www.myspace.com/alohaburner for a complete description of our previous years' camps. We will be located at Gemini and 4:30

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 1 reply

Can I ask a question?

2008-08-01T08:31:13Z

Are you aware that the word "sexuality" actually requires a judgment? And that consciousness cannot coexist with judgment? Consciousness includes everything without judgment.

"Sexuality" has been, from my POV, mis used at the best , and as a manipulation more likely. Talk about a way to create separation and distrust / mistrust - I mean come on. The opposite sex, the opposite gender. How is it possible to be conscious about ourselves and our own choices from separation? Even using the term "opposite" infers a separation and a wrongness about the "other"

My question, are you willing to see something else as a possibility? At least to ask a question? There are other ways of languaging, that create a different paradigm as an option. It is called "communion"

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 13 replies

The Return of Desire

2008-07-29T20:29:55Z

I love this book: The Return of Desire - A Guide to Rediscovering Your Sexual Passion, by Gina Ogden

I couldn’t put it down last night (got my copy yesterday). So much good info. She polled women and men and then meshes their answers with stories, anecdotes and exercises. Reading it was empowering. I don’t know how long they are going to be giving away the five free gifts with it, so I wanted to pass it on.

www.ginaogden.com/promo

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 4 replies

how do you listen to a sexual assault survivor?

2008-07-29T07:59:07Z

How do you listen to non-violent sexual assault?

I always blissfully thought of myself as a woman who had not experienced sexual assault in her life. Until one afternoon, I started having flashbacks of an event which had been so intensely humiliating that I had managed to completely repress the memory for three years. A man had been sexual with my body without my consent, not through physical force, but by stealth and deception.

Since then I’ve been painfully confronted with how my community applies credibility measures to sexual assault; the extent to which an assault is thought to be provoked and resisted. I partly envy women who were violently assaulted by a stranger jumping out of the bushes. There is no doubt as to who is responsible, and it is easy to give nothing but full support to the victim.

I foolishly trusted a person who later turned out to be untrustworthy, and I paid dearly for it. I was often met with skepticism, judgment and a certain distancing, at a time when I was in desperate need of support by my friends. The assault itself was traumatic, but coming out with my story, was even worse.

Why I’m writing this

I hope to explain the confusion and the shame that often keeps a victim from talking about a non-violent sexual assault or, as in my case, to repress it completely. I hope that after reading this, you may be better able to give support, in case one day a friend of yours tells you a similar story.

I hope to raise awareness about how we assign responsibility for ensuring that sex is consensual. Specifically, I want to show how the non-violent perpetrator uses our moral code “no means no” to justify being sexual with a person’s body without their consent.

Also, I want to help prevent this from happening to other women in my community. The perpetrator walks in my social circles and, if you are reading this, it is likely he walks in yours as well. If after reading this you decide you want to know the name of the perpetrator to protect yourself or your friends, please contact me at djokesteen@hotmail.com

What happened

After partying all night at a Halloween party in San Rafael, I walked to my car, alone. A man, whom I had talked with earlier that night showed up beside me. At the party this man had been very friendly and respectful. I assumed he was walking to his car, but it turned out he walked with me to my car. It was a long walk with friendly chatter, I didn’t notice that he never asked whether I wanted to be escorted to my car. I felt very comfortable with him, and he won my trust.

When we got to my car, he offered to give me a back-massage and said that he could do this while standing up. Feeling fully my post-party exhaustion, I accepted. He gave me a wonderful back massage.

Suddenly, without any indication of what was about to happen, he pushed his finger in my vagina, and I found myself in the midst of a sexual situation. Part of my Halloween costume that year was hotpants and no panties. He entered me through the leg of my hotpants. It was easy for him to push aside the one inch of fabric separating my vagina from the outside world and before I knew it, I was penetrated.

He did not inquire in any way whether I wanted him to move from massaging me, to being sexual with me, let alone penetrate me. No unbuttoning of my belt, no pulling down of a zipper, no placing of his hand on my thighs and no approach to my crotch. I never had a chance to say “Yes,” therefore I also never had a chance to say “No.”

Fear and humiliation

When I all of a sudden felt his finger in my vagina, I felt a huge explosive pang go off in my head. I was dazed and in shock. The explosion in my head was accompanied by a great sense of loss. I had lost autonomy over my most private part; somebody was bulldozering himself into a part of me that I have so many tender emotions about. In my life, I have had many different kinds of feelings about being penetrated, but never utter surprise and horrified shock. The shock and the sense of loss were immediately followed by me going into an instinctual coping mode.

My survival instinct told me that I needed to cut my losses and prevent worse from happening by getting out of the situation as fast and smoothly as possible. This man had just proven to be capable of completely taking me by surprise and taking liberties with my body without any interest for my feelings. I did not want to find out what might come next.

I instinctively decided to placate him and to pretend that “all was well.” I remember with pain back to the moment where I wondered whether enough time had passed to get off of his finger so he wouldn’t realize that this was not what I had wanted. I felt I needed to hide my humiliation and fear and slip out of the situation as fast as possible and avoid any further dealings with him. After I extricated myself from his finger, I forced a smile and excused myself by saying that I was very tired and needed to go home. I apologetically declined his invitation to stay longer.

Confusion

In my car, I felt relieved that I had been able to get out of the situation without further damage. I felt sad because I had lost something very dear to me: control over what happens to my vagina. I felt ashamed, and humiliated about having been such a fool to misjudge this man. Most of all I felt confused. Had I done something wrong? Was there something wrong with me?

Being aware of our code of conduct which says “no means no,” I deduced I must have miserably failed by somehow missing my window of opportunity to say ‘no,” and wondered whether I was totally inept to take care of myself. I remember thinking: I’ll have to chalk this up to experience.” I remember how much I resisted this being part of my experience. I drove home, slept and blocked the memory out of my mind.

Making waves

My memories started to get triggered now and then when I started dating the perpetrator’s best friend. I desperately tried to keep the memories at bay, even going to the extent of defending the perpetrator when other women were put off by his sexual forwardness. Then one afternoon, I started having flashbacks and realized that I had had a horrible experience with this guy who was now a part of my social circle.

My boyfriend now found himself in the dilemma of either diminishing my experience or facing up to the fact that he had been friends with a person who commits sexual transgressions. I questioned whether my boyfriend had enabled his best friend’s predatory tendencies. My boyfriend would at times criticize his friend’s sexual transgressions, but mostly condoned behavior he suspected was painful to women.

The perpetrator is a very handsome and gregarious person, whose male friends admire his ease of conquest with women. His technique to get women to accept a massage from him is to offer what he calls his “Harmonic Body Wave” massage technique, which is a great source of humor among his friends. However, it may not have been so humorous to the women who trustingly agreed to be massaged and found them selves fondled instead, or as in my case, penetrated against their will. The chances are slim that his friends will ever ask him “but, did she indicate ‘yes?’ ”

Malicious intent

You may wonder how much malicious intent was present in the mind of the perpetrator. Does he consciously use stealth and deception to close the window of opportunity for a woman to say “no”? Is his offer to give a massage a ploy to be sexual with her body without her consent? or is he so delusional that he truly believes that when a woman consents to his hands on her body for a massage, she also consents him to be sexual with her?

On another occasion, I overheard (one of the triggers to my memory) him boasting to my boyfriend that he had stuck his finger in a woman’s vagina on the dance floor. My boyfriend asked him what had preceded this event, and he answered with a rather nasty smirk: “he, as long as they don’t say no …”
Confronting the perpetrator

Once I fully remembered and was able to handle the shame of being a sexual assault victim, I confronted the perpetrator and let him know what the experience had been like for me. His response was “I don’t really remember.” He said he felt sorry that I experienced my encounter with him as very negative, but added: “But I thought that everybody who goes to that party was promiscuous.”

I’m happy I finally gave the perpetrator much needed feedback. I know that many women prefer to scurry away from the overly sexually aggressive male instead of bluntly asserting that a transgression took place. Two of my girlfriends who met the perpetrator were irritated by his disregard for their personal space, but both of them chose to avoid a public scene and did not provide him with accurate feedback.
Adding insult to injury/ Female fault vs. male irresponsibility

Fear of being blamed, doubted, treated with insensitivity and even ostracized silences most victims of this kind of crime. I cringed whenever I heard a sentence start with: “Well, I would have…,” or, “you should have…”

Talking about what happened that day meant facing the shame and humiliation and self-blame that I felt. It also meant finding myself on the defensive with people who told me I was responsible for what happened to me that day.

The mythic image of the violent stranger jumping out of the bushes is oddly reassuring and very persistent in spite of contradicting statistics about sexual crimes. The uncomfortable reality is that most perpetrators are known and trusted by the victim and that sexual assault doesn’t necessarily involve the threat of physical violence.

One of the things I noticed is that some kind of uneasiness and defensive thinking kicks in when people are confronted by a sexual assault victim. The conversations focused around determining where I had gone wrong. All my voluntary interactions with the perpetrator before the assault were suspect, had I not asked for it in some way?

For women, I now realize that blaming the victim is a way to feel safer. If only we avoid the risky behavior of the past victim, than we can continue to believe we can prevent this from happening to ourselves. For men, focusing on victim culpability reduces the attention to appropriate male sexual behavior.

I noticed how complacent we are of the seeming inevitability of women always having to be vigilant, because we tacitly accept that women are always preyed upon. Apparently it is easier to tell a woman to restrict her actions and movements in order to reduce risk, than to tell a man to judge his actions by the effect it has on others. Is masculinity at odds with mutuality in sex? If all individuals were held responsible for minimizing risks, then what restrictions could men implement to prevent non-consensual sex?

I was reprimanded for having placed myself in what turned out to be a vulnerable situation and was deftly told what I can and can not do in my “new agey” community in the bay area in the 21st century. I am now very clear on that it is thought to be a woman’s responsibility to limit her freedoms in order to reduce the risk of bumping into an overly sexually aggressive male. It is kind of like being hit by a drunk driver and then being blamed for it.

What is sexual assault?

It became very clear to me that most people define sexual assault as a violation of boundaries, and not as non-consensual sex. I was blamed for not having put up a boundary at some point, somehow. The perpetrator was not blamed for taking liberties with my body without my positive cooperation, or even my awareness.

Negotiating consensual sex is a very complicated dance. I like to call it a dance since most of the communication is often non-verbal. The short phrase “no means no” is an over simplification of the process. However, the short-phrase is useful to help us communicate our morals about the more elaborate negotiation process that precedes consensual sex.

Our current sexual morality puts the responsibility for ensuring consensual sex entirely on the woman, by giving her the power to veto. Our commonly held definition of a sex-crime is that a man violates a woman’s “No.” (Of course men too can be sex-crime victims.) The implication here is that as long as a woman has not put up her verbal defensive block, no transgressions have occurred.

“No means No” facilitates the guy who likes to grope and fondle

Most of us see mutuality as necessary for sex, we want to be wanted. We want a meeting of the bodies and the minds. The sexual predator is content with merely using a woman’s body. I’ve read that most sexual predators resist the idea of seeing themselves as such. They will look for ways to validate their behavior and will often seek public approval for their private transgressions. Often they will give moral validation to their actions by their intent and not by how it affects others.

The predator who uses stealth and deceit (as was the case with the perpetrator) to circumvent the woman’s “no” walks away from his groping and fondling with his self-image of uprightness intact. The stealth and deceit predator uses our rule, “no means no” to sidestep the complicated dance of negotiating consensual sex. He inserts an imaginary “Yes” as long as a woman hasn’t verbally said “No.”

Just as men learn to degrade women from other men, they also learn to respect women from other men. A man who chooses the short-phrase “no means no” to represent his values about sex provides the green light for the stealth and deceit perpetrators to grope and fondle while leaving their self-image intact. A man who chooses “no means no” fails to protect his sisters and daughters from this kind of sexual predator.

A man who says “yes means yes” instills that consent is absolutely required in sex. That man says that to be sexual with a woman’s body without her consent is sexual assault. That man creates a safer world for women instead of telling women how to restrict their actions and movements in order to reduce the risk of getting hurt by male sexuality. Just as it is important for women to be assertive about their sexual boundaries, it is important that men are held accountable for their sexual actions.

Becoming a survivor

What happened that day, and what I thought it said about me, was very disruptive to my self image. At first, I took responsibility for what happened, and I thought that my failure to prevent this from happening to me was a sign of my personal incompetence. Additionally, I believed that my reaction of, pretending to be a willing participant, was further proof of poor coping abilities.

Today, I know I had poor judgment in trusting this man. However, I place the responsibility for what happened with the perpetrator and not with me. When I accepted the back-massage I did not consent to vaginal penetration.

I now realize that pretending to be a willing participant is a valid coping mechanism. What I had just experienced with this man was that he was capable of hurting me by using stealth and deception. By my pretense, I got myself out of that situation as quickly and safely as possible, preventing further losses.
Police

The intense humiliation and confusion and self-blame keeps most women from reporting sex-crimes with the police. For those few women who do report the incident, even fewer find justice. Since most non-violent sex crimes are “he said, she said” scenarios and we live in a country where you are innocent until proven guilty, the law is often unable to protect women.

However, I found some solace in knowing that my report is on file with the police and a paper trail has been created. If other women come forward with similar complaints about the same person, at some point it may add up to enough evidence. Also, the perpetrator, knowing about the complaint that is on file against him, might be inclined to change his behavior.

My experience with the San Rafael Police department was positive. I know that this is not always the case. I highly recommend getting assistance with reporting sex crimes. Rape crisis centers have advocates to accompany the victim to the police and ensure that the complaint is properly processed.

A scene from Until Someone Wakes up (created by Carolyn Levy)

Waiter: Would you like some coffee?

Woman: Yes, please.

Waiter: Just say when. (Starts to pour.)

Woman: There. (He keeps pouring.) That’s fine. (He pours.)
Stop! (She grabs the pot; there the coffee is everywhere.) What are you doing? I said stop.

Waiter: Yes, ma’am

Woman: Well, why didn’t you stop pouring?

Waiter: Oh, I wasn’t sure you meant it.

Woman: Look, of course I meant it! I have coffee all over my lap! You nearly burned me!

Waiter: Forgive me ma’am, but you certainly looked thirsty. I thought you wanted more.

Woman: But-

Waiter: And you must admit, you did let me start to pour.

Woman: Well of course I did. I wanted some coffee.

Waiter: See, there you go. A perfectly honest mistake.

Please feel free to forward this writing to whomever you think might be interested.

Djoke Steen

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 7 replies

Choosing a new moderator...

2008-07-28T02:44:49Z

Since we don't have a current moderator, we should maybe think about "electing" one. I elect me. :) Who do you "elect"? :)

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 6 replies

Orgasm "Addiction"

2008-07-15T18:51:28Z

Hello all,

I just read an interesting interview over on Reality Sandwich with"Peace Between the Sheets" author Marnia Robinson. I disagree with her on many points, but there is a lot of juicy stuff to mull. I'd love to hear your thoughts on her opinions.

http://realitysandwich.com/finding_peace_between_our_sheets

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 16 replies

I worry about my relationship with men....

2008-07-04T11:54:46Z

My father left when I was 4, he was an alcoholic . My mom has all sorts of dysfunctions. She is better now but growing up there was alcohol, workalicism, over eating, depression, etc.. Anyway it was chaotic to say the least. Although we always had money and I went to school and whatnot. I don't want to over dramatize. It was "normal" dysfunction, not the kind you see walking down the street, you'd have to look really close to see it, like most families I imagine.

Anyway, needless to say I have difficulty sustaining healthy relationships. I have had 2 long term relationships and they both were verbally , emotionally, ( one guy was physically abusive a couple of time ) abusive. So, it has happened more than those 2 relationships that I have dated alcoholics, narcissists. I find myself not attracted to nice guys. I don't know what to do about it. I am attracted to who I am attracted to. I go to counseling, ( I will see her next week and ask her this question ). What can I do to become attracted to healthier men?I know that the drama, the dysfunction turns me on, so to speak. I don't want it to. I am aware to the point that if I find someone really attractive, those bells go off in my head, I know it is probably not good. I want to change. I want to be with a man who respects and loves me. But they don't present themselves to me and they don't stick around.
I am in grad school for psychology, I do not invite abuse into my life in any other way. I am not self harming or even drinking too much. It's this one way , I attract jerks who can't respect me. What can I do?

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 49 replies

Orgasm as a Mystical Experience

2008-06-13T17:56:18Z

Recently I came upon a passage in “Further Along the Road less Traveled,” (which I have not read all the way through)… but this chapter sparked my curiosity… the chapter is titled “Orgasm as a Mystical Experience.”

Basically it explains that Abram Maslow, through research he conducted involving people who he identified as “self actualized” (study Maslow Theory of Hierarchy for more of an explanation), he came to the conclusion/understanding that people who reach this level share some commonalities… one being that they “routinely experienced orgasm as a spiritual experience, mystical even.”

He goes on to compare the mystical experience of orgasm to ego death which he states is a “necessary part of the spiritual journey.” The French refer to orgasm as “la petite mort” which is interpreted as “the little death.” The author states that in order to reach the highest spiritual climax possible, through intercourse naturally there has to be a deep spiritual connection between the lovers. Once we reach that “brief peak point of little death” we loose some sense of physical reality no longer completely physically grounded, a loss of ego, self, separateness… ego death. For you Dead Heads think steal your face.

The author (M. Scott Peck) quotes a Swami as saying… “At the moment of mutual climax, each as individuals has no more significance to the other than the gates of heaven for the one within.” And Joseph Campbell is quoted as well, “When one has lost oneself in the rapture of love, the partner is of no more importance than the portals of the temple through which one has passed to the alter.”

He has a lot to say about the notions of and illusions of “romantic love” as well, which once I’ve digested, I will attempt to regurgitate and share with you all. I just was very taken with this passage and felt compelled to share… and maybe get some feedback about this topic.
Blessings to all
XOXO
T

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 3 replies

Looking for JFKU syllabi

2008-06-10T05:08:37Z

I'm on the prowl for syllabi or reading lists from JFKU's Consciousness and Transformative Studies program. If anyone knows where I can track some resources down, I'd be ever so grateful.

Thanks!

~A

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 0 replies

Difference Between Female and Male Sexuality

2008-06-04T19:51:11Z

Association For Psychological Sciencec........... An interesting article on the arousal patterns of gay men, men and women and the differences in the brain. Men's arousal patterns seem rather obvious , but women's have a bisexual arousel pattern............. www.psychologicalscience.org/media/releases/2003/pr030612.cfm

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 18 replies

...

2008-05-26T18:04:03Z

I've read a lot of things all over this tribe about "being hurt" is the wrong influencing
actions to take when choosing to be celibate.

So, my question is, if being celibate is the wrong path to take when you have strong emotional
energies still floating around you from something else, what WOULD be the best step to take?
Just curious.......as I see nothing wrong with refusing any intimate contact from that.

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 17 replies

question of celebacy

2008-05-21T00:16:25Z

I am planning on embarking on a self induced period of celabcy for the next year, and i was wondering if anyone else has done this and if so what tips, info, or suggestions you might have.

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 18 replies

Evolutionary Philosophy of Human Sexuality

2008-05-02T20:36:08Z

Great Info & Interesting Website www.spaceandmotion.com/sex

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 3 replies

Mantak Chia in Santa Cruz May 14th-16th

2008-04-16T06:49:14Z

Mantak Chia in SC May 14-16.
Contact Lee Holden:
lee@pacifichealingarts.com
408-839-9490

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 1 reply

The Warrioir Within

2008-04-02T15:26:11Z

http://eventful.com/events/E0-001-010005707-7@2008041911

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 0 replies

The Velvet Night

2008-03-23T22:17:39Z

The Velvet Night

Don’t track the light in the shiny streets of desire
Don’t look for the beauty in the outward perfection

The exiled pain
is a gentle touch;
The most adorable tongue of passion

The Velvet Night
Waiting to unveiled

Be aware
Splendid is the dark-light
Believe in this tale . . .

Love&Respect

Shervin

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 0 replies

Pomosexuality and the Death of the Label

2008-03-23T10:09:38Z

BECAUSE LABELS ARE FOR CLOTHING... NOT PEOPLE.

Pomosexuality (short for postmodern sexuality) refers to a nonorientation in which people disregard sexual labels altogether. While it is convenient to sort everyone into a handful of different groups - homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual - pomosexuality argues that not only can these words and categories not do justice to the complexity of human sexuality, but are also grand illusions socially constructed to maintain a state of separateness between people. Like most other things in life, sexual orientation and/or gender identity isn't a black and white, either/or experience for many of us. More appropriately, it is best described as a fluid and incalculably unique journey that is beyond definition. Pomosexuality literally means anything you want it to mean. It means anything goes. And it represents an end to all the confusion, oppression, fear, and restraint that comes with trying to identify with a restrictive label.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXxODfmU_iU

Join the new social network that is introducing the concept of pomosexuality to the masses, revolutionizing the way the world views sexuality and gender. http://wWw.POMOWORLD.com

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 2 replies

sexual pictures of women- conflicting

2008-03-14T23:43:57Z

hello. i have been through many stages of looking at sexual imagery. there are times where i would look at porn. but i realized a while ago i dont the energy in it. its a bad energy. no where near love. for a long time i was disgusted by sexual imagery. even for a while i felt comfortable not having sex at all believing it is just for the creation of a soul. now i can not deny i feel sexual. our energy is sexual energy as many people say. i enjoy looking at pictures of girls in thongs. there is something appealing about it. but something also that i feel... low doing. almost shameful of myself. i am trying to figure this all out.
people talk about objectification of women. and in a way i can see myself objectifying women since begining to look at these pictures. not so much objectification as materialization. like if i see a woman who is wearing tight pants, or sexy i am drawn to look at her ass. now part of me feels strange doing this.. and part of me is wondering why i am drawn to people for their looks since this is the opposite of how i usually feel. what is within is more fascinating and important.
and the girls i look at, they would not be the people i would probably like to be around. it is strange. if i meet a girl who puts alot of emphasis on her looks i usually try to ask her questions like do you want guys to like you for whats on the inside or how you look? but here i am enjoying looking at these girls in thongs..
well if you have any insights, they would be appreciated.
thank you
blessings

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 8 replies

From Sex to Superconsciousness

2008-03-14T01:19:40Z

It is a book by Osho. If you havent read it, it will really transform the way you feel about sex.

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 4 replies

Get a Relationship Makeover! (whether you have one or not)

2008-03-09T01:55:10Z

Get a Relationship Makeover!

I help couples learn how to use sexuality and the expression of sexuality to open their relationship to harmony, and to deep satisfaction on all levels of being.

If you haven't experienced the bliss of a deep sexual/heart connection, it's only because you haven't learned how. Learn the secrets that few couples ever realize for how to open your heart and experience sex as transformative and joyous.

Sex is key to a healthy, happy relationship. And avoiding it is part of the process of moving toward wholeness and bliss!

Learn how to use your resistance and fear to sexual connection to open to the greatest experience that is possible for you -- in your body and heart. Learn to experience sex and
sexuality as a way to connect with all that you are and to open to your greatest freedom. Overcome all issues for the last time.

I work with you on all levels of your being, to liberate you to experience pleasure and love freely and without reservation -- alone and as a couple.
Get the relationship you know you deserve, by choosing it.

I work with both singles and couples in a loving, intimate setting that is certain to inspire powerful results. Please see my website for more information, and then write me with your situation and interests. I will be in touch that day to explore how I can serve you to experience more joy in loving relationship. http://www.blisswavetantra.com.

Looking forward to helping you feel more alive in every way!
Karen

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 1 reply

sexy stethoscope

2008-03-08T04:45:47Z

Has anyone played sexually with stethoscopes?

I was at the hospital last week.. and noticed them .. and got to thinking...

wow.. this could be a great tool for some realization of impermanence (did I spell that right?) and of a very deep connection.. I imagine that it would be and intense practice that merges our sexuality and consciousness...

any thoughts, experiences or something similar to this?

(i wish I had a pair to try it)

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 3 replies

Sex makes my girlfriend psycho - help

2008-03-05T02:17:57Z

The taoists say that after the man has an orgasm he becomes insecure, easily aggrivated, because of the loss of energy. This is how my girlfriend gets after we have sex.
Example: last night we were together. We dont see much of eachother these days, i dont know why though. i miss her alot. Well anyways. When were together she says she doesnt get horny unless i provoke her. She jokes and calls me the devil for this. She says she doesnt want to mess around or have sex. but we become passionate and end up fucking in the car. And theres a line where she is normal and void of any feelings (she denies them) then she becomes totally ruled and taken over by them. Then we stop cause we both feeel uncomfortable in the car and she gets really cold and tells me shes taking me home. I tell her we both feel bad lets not have sex anymore. She becomes more and more upset saying "why do i even see you at all". When were near my house were talking and shes telling me get out get out go home. And i dont want to leave her right after we make love. (i dont think shes making love- shes just being overcome with horniness which is why she feels bad.) I put my arms around her gently and she pushes me away very hard- her arms feel like the edge of a brick. very bad energy. She ends up getting worse and worse tense too tense and i tell her to do stomach breathing but she cant listen to me. she has a bad problem with controlling her body if shes feeling bad around me. Anyways im staring into her eyes and she says why did you look at your neighbors house? (whom she is jealous of for no reason). I was staring straight into her eyes about 1 foot away from her. She becomes delusional. I tell her something is wron with her mentally. She tells me she knows i slept with other girls. She is the only girl i ever slept with and she has no reason to beleive otherwise. All i ever do is give her my total devotion, but shes not very receptive to it. She is acutlly the one who has slept with other guys after losing her virginity to me. We were apart for about 6 months where she became a slut. She said for a month she woke up puking because she was just partying all the time. So you can see this is where her sexuality confuses her and probably brings back bad energy to her body. I just want to make healing love to her, not engage in confused lust like before. She is very confused about her sexuality. Last nigh it really took my desires away. I just felt like going in the woods and living like an animal so i wouldnt feel horniness that makes our relationship so crazy. So i have decided not to have sex till she is the one who brings it about, because this is crazy. making love one minute the next, super bad energy and she saying she doesnt wanna be with me, and being very delusional and disrespectful. honestly i dont know why i love her. but i do. i guess im attracted to her so she can help purify me away from the fucked up sexualitly i had before (porn, excesssive desire), but i have been studying taoism and havent looked at porn in over a year. I understand and feel she is the only person i want to make love to. but even now i will wait. as the i ching said i will set a limit. any advice into her psychogy or similar experiences and solutions would be much appreciated and karmically corrected.
peace to you all

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 56 replies

Body Magick festival in Florida

2008-02-24T19:30:42Z

The 5th annual Body Magick festival will be April 24-27, 2008 at All World Acres in the Tampa Bay area. This festival will focus on sacred sexuality, sex magick, Tantra, and polyamory. The event is for adults only (18 and older).

The workshops and activities at the Body Magick festival will be
interactive. There will be nudity and activities of a sexual nature.
Everyone will have the option of participating or only observing.

Info here; http://divineecstasy.org/bodymagick.htm

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 4 replies

insignificant sex

2008-02-20T14:22:08Z

i am young, 22, not that young. . . my age group is frightening.
Sexual Frustration, these people speak of sexual frustration as if there is nothing important to discuss or dwell on. I think about people wasting so much time, and energy and personal spirit on mediocrity, insignificant union. So few seek meaningful fulfulment of themselves, especially from themselves, let alone seek out challenging energies, someone to learn from and teach.
Young humans seeking other humans purely for selfish indulgence. They approach eachother with one intention and it bleeds through their eyes and teeth. Two parties coming together to achieve shallow individual missions is still lonliness. Lonliness and emptiness are not cured through group lonliness and emptiness.

I feel that most people have not had significant sex, important, mind expanding, consciousness combining union with another human energy. They seek something they enjoy, like animals, because they do not know how intensely amazing it can be.

This all worries me because making friends has turned out be rather difficult in adult life (this changes by geographic location). I have found a lot of people who seem unique and interesting, decide I would like them as an acquaintance, turn their intentions from friend to further after so much consecutive attention. Then turn bitter when it is not reciprocated.
I enjoy privacy all the time but my love of other physical people ebbs and flows. And I know this is a result of the people I encounter, location is key again here.

Okay the point of this,
Honesty and consciousness, in all forms and levels is needed, especially in youth. I worry about people my age, not loving themselves, not loving others, not loving openly and honestly, raw and understanding of our own human and others. Understanding our own biology, human connections, levels of intimacy, being close to someone without the looming questions. We need to know what is bad, what is good, what is great and what is really worth our time. We, youth, need to be in tune with our biological drives, and harness it, not squander it.

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 27 replies

Next Fremont Munch

2008-02-19T13:55:40Z

Hello everyone, Just thought I would pop in and let everyone know about the second Fremont Munch that will be held at Denny's on Mowry Ave in Fremont Ca.. It will be on March 3rd and will start at 7:30PM the address is 5280 Mowry Ave Fremont CA. I am looking forward to meeting some new faces and seeing some returning faces as well.

Thank You

Julian M.

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 0 replies

Looking For Direction from Forum Members...

2008-02-15T03:52:05Z

Hello All,

My wife and I are looking to further intertwine our spiritual and sexual practices. We are looking for direction from you that can help us explore the beauty and divinity of our sexual experience and energy. Our path is with each other and we wish to steer clear of any practices that are focused on swinging or sexual entertainment.

Our spiritual path is simple - we are open to the many interpretations of Spirit/God that exist, so the metaphor or religion used to deliver the spiritual/sexual trainig isn't as important as the depth of the training. We wish to go deep into the energy. We have strong communication and relationship skills, we are both balanced with regards to male/female energy, and our relationship has been strenghthened through fire.

I'm hoping to find direction from this forum on retreats/workshops/teachers that we can review to see if they fit our needs.

Thank you!
AnimaS

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 5 replies

David Deida

2008-02-14T01:43:29Z

Hey peeps,

I'm thinking about doing this workshop with David Deida.
Any of you done one before? What's the 411?

Details: www.DeidaEvents.com.

TT

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 1 reply

Erotic Arts Party NYC Feb. 13.

2008-02-13T00:49:36Z

Please forward this on to any like minded friends in NYC.
1/2 off admission for any who mention TRIBE.NET
cheers RR.

On February 13th 2008 starting at 7pm:

THE SAINT VENUS THEATER

NY's art, music, and performance inspired erotic venue
invites you to attend our:

SAINT VALENTINE'S PARTY

Featuring a wide variety of hourly erotic performances that are always a tribute to woman and female sexuality, and "The Most Transformative Lap Dance Experience" you are likely know.

We want to excite one's heart, mind, soul and libido, not just the libido.
We regularly hold smaller intimate parties for our exclusive members. This
is one of our occasional bigger events open to the public. In addition
to a lot of fun, this is also the best way for us to get to know you and provides opportunity for membership consideration.

Location information posted below. Please visit our web site at www.SaintVenusTheater.com for party information and discount admissions or free lap dance card. You can also get location information for our very impressive midtown NYC club by calling 212-539-3524 starting on February 12th, the day before the event.

For a glimpse of our world be sure to check out the regularly changing myspace page at www.myspace.com/saintvenustheater

Performance Highlights:

- The Girl in Giant Bubble Show by the creator of The
Modern Gypsies www.myspace.com/moderngypsies.
- Kissing Contest a with cast member/model featuring on a MTV Reality Show
- Free give aways to the first 100 patrons.
- and more.

This is our open event, so feel free to share this invitation with like minded friends.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

EVENT: St. Valentines Celebration
DATE: Wednesday, February 13th
TIME: 7pm to 1am
CLUB: www.duvetny.com
45 West 21st Street - Between 5th & 6th Ave.
ENTRY: $40.00. See www.saintvenustheater.com web site for discounts.

Enter to the left of the main Duvet doors.

THE SAINT VENUS THEATER ... Artista, Erotica, Utopia!

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 0 replies

Recommend a Tantra book please =)

2008-02-09T04:47:56Z

Hello,

I'm interested in the spiritual/deeper connection to your partner aspects of Tanra. I looked into classes in my area and they are a bit out of my budget atm. I was wondering if anybody could recommend some good books for getting started with this.

Thanks!

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 7 replies

Genital Awareness

2008-02-07T15:28:25Z

Hi All,

I have added some new articles to my website, including one on energy awareness and another on genital relationship. There are many other articles on sexuality and spirituality. I hope you will stop by at http://www.lindawhitedove.com

All articles are available free of charge. A great resource full of information!

Linda

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 3 replies

Noobie here!

2008-01-29T03:36:26Z

Just saying hello and sending love! I have some art on my profile that I hope wil speak to some of you. Please, by all means, if you have any insights, reflections about anything you see, I urge you to post a public comment to share with everyone.
SB

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 2 replies

solstice - a time of deep awakening

2007-12-28T22:51:06Z

OUR POWERFUL AND RARE WINTER SOLSTICE:
THIS FRIDAY/SATURDAY

This is the most powerful Solstice that we've had in
modern or ancient history, so this is BIG and I hope
you take advantage of this information..
The Solstice is when the Sun moves into the sign of Capricorn and our days start getting longer (the return of the SUN/ SON). This Solstice is so rare, that no one knows how long ago this line-up actually last occurred, but we are sure it hasn't happened in the last 26,000 years. This means we have NO DATA on what to expect, so I'm simply giving you my best guess. The line-up for this Solstice is this: the Galactic Center, Pluto, Sun, Jupiter and Mercury all within 6 degrees of each other and opposite Mars retrograde. Talk about a powerhouse! Plus two after the Solstice, on December 23rd, the Moon comes along, joins Mars and covers the Galactic Center in the center of the Sacred Hoop of stars, recognized by the Native Americans. My best guess of what this all means is that we're headed for major evolutionary and transformational growth. It's so big that we might feel like we're getting sucked into the proverbial "black hole." What's the purpose of this growth and transformation? My best guess is that it's what all need to do in order to keep pace with the changing frequency and vibration of the planet. If you're not familiar with planetary ascension, now would be a good time to learn about it. Go to www.whatsuponplanethearth.com or www.duanehenkle.com or www.dianastone.com and discover why Earth is the hot place to be in our galaxy. What to do? One of the best recommendations is to sit quietly during the Solstice and just tune into or drink up the energies. If you do this during this busy weekend, you're likely to get some messages, thoughts, feelings, dreams, or bodily sensations that will give you clues about what to do next. Be sure to follow them. In the Pacific time zone the actual Solstice occurs at 10:09 PM December 21st. In the Eastern time zone it occurs at 1:09 AM December 22nd. Don't worry about getting the time exactly right. These energies are so strong you'll be able to feel them for days. What will all this mean for you? It depends on your chart, how and where your chart is aspected by this line-up. Certainly we're all rethinking what motivates us now, and just what is it that DOES bring us JOY? If you can get a handle on that, follow that path. But it's about more than just what brings us joy. The bigger question is how can we all contribute to raising our consciousness, so the planet we live on can be sustained, and do this in a way that brings us joy?
Also remember that Pluto is about to change signs into Capricorn on January 26th, another rare cycle which hasn't happened since 1762. We've had Pluto in the sign of Sagittarius since November 1995, transforming our beliefs, our social and cultural institutions (like education, the legal system and medicine), and our international situation. Now we will get to transform the structures of our world, including the structures and processes of business, governments, and capitalism.
Where will all of this lead? Hopefully to a planet that can be sustained, instead of destroyed by our businesses, governments, consumers, and capitalism! If this doesn't happen between now and 2024 when Pluto moves into Aquarius, we'll all be in big trouble. In fact it looks like we could be in big trouble sooner than that, between 2012 - 2015 when we get the radical and revolutionary energies of Uranus square Pluto. If anything can propel us in the right direction to assist the planet, it'll be that cycle, when revolutions will be the order of the day. I'm not talking about revolutions that occur with
guns. I'm talking about a revolution in our consciousness. That's the only thing that can save this planet and our lives, along with everything else that lives on Earth

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 1 reply

you tell them

2007-12-23T21:31:38Z

I am gone
And far beyond
Yoú tell them:
“This the time t say goodbye to him, let him go”

I am not from here
nor do I belong to this talks and thoughts
Yoú tell them:
“He is useless, faithless, worthless, let him go”

My chants are not made for earthly ears,
I dance like a savage, in their eyes
My love song sounds like a scream in their polluted, dark caves
Yoú tell them:
“kick him out, away with him, send him to the wild”.

The mountain height, the depth of ocean, the dark jungle
Yoú tell them:
“put the beast where he belongs!”

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 0 replies

'Third eye contact' Tantra and Mushrooms

2007-12-17T16:41:57Z

I've had a few lifechanging experiences with psilocybe cubensis, my first two provoked what I can only describe as tantra. The first time I've eaten godflesh was my 18th birthday, late at night with a blissful family of friends. A bit after people went to thier bedrooms I still couldn't sleep and decided to bunk on the mattress with a single guy. He and I began copulating in an amazingly slow manner while our trip continued to escalate. Our bodies flowed like every particle of our beings was meant to mesh together. Initially, my mind was full of 'OH, God, this is perfect sex! This is what they mean!' We continued to breathe and operate on the godjuice, perfectly in sync with each other and gravity. Gradually my mind filled with what seems like every thought and emotion ive experienced, until they became realized as One, then there was only the moment, oxygen, the sun that would never rise; I felt I'd experienced a satori. On a side note a ,week after that enlightening experience, I was listening to Tool's 'Lateralus' and contemplating Alex Grey paintings; and I felt, energetically, like Id understood what the paintings were portraying, followed by my head lolling back and what felt like a 'full body orgasm' taking over, which I found out was a kundalini uprising. The second time I imbibed the mushroom sacrament was just after I graduated highschool, a friend and I were sitting in the park, blissfully enjoying each others conscious company, letting the mushrooms kick in as we basked in the amazement of each others awareness and playfully trying to cross our eyes in a manner that lets us visualize each others third eye. Our conversation became more of a completion of each others thoughts, that click and understanding, until there came a moment where we both felt the same thing, we were conscious of the Us consciousness, I and You melted away. The first click was a brief with a moment of confusion, sort of like 'What was that?' 'There is no 'Was', and We became I again. To keep up our connection it felt as if I would push us further along the spiral and he would pull with the energy of what hed learned, teaching my consciousness something to digest so i could in turn power level us deeper. The whole night our internal and external enviroment was a conscious syncronicity, we felt this is exactly what we should be doing, this is what we pine for, this satisfies every metaneed. The clearest thing that was communicated was him telling me that hed never truly experienced love and was abused as a child, and I could feel exactly how bad it was and cried with direct empathy. The timeless hours had worn out our energy by sunlight, throughout the night to continue stimulating the connection it had degraded a bit because we needed physical manipulation of each other for serotonin drive, still clothed, a pure form of bodywork, pure tantra, occasionally needing an affectionate touch on bare skin. In the moments when the connection was weak it was because we would admit to desire, usually 'lets smoke', but we both knew it was a stoners neurotic impulse and continued to grace the Us until we didnt have enough energy at all, barely enough to force ourselves to find his glasses. At one of those weak moments, his eyes were shut and I could see that his Third eye was open. We have grown apart a bit as friends since then. I took mushrooms with him again the day before yesterday, and massaging his back I still felt I knew his energy, I knew his body and the tensions that formed his muscles. I got really into the massage and it sunk us into a mild trance. The mushrooms as usual were very cathartic, so at one point I broke down sobbing on him because of the pining I felt for the connection to another conscious being again. Today I had a few syncronicities and broke through my depression with the acknowledment that God is conscious and satisfies every need one could have if I let go of desire, and the realization that someday I'll lose the feeling of separateness either through physical or ego death.

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 2 replies

TRIBE PROCESSING CENTER WELCOMES YOU!!

2007-12-12T16:05:35Z

ALL TRIBE MEMBERS MUST BE AUTHENTICATED!!

We are required by law to revoke membership privileges of all undocumented Aliens.

ALL TRIBE MEMBERS MUST BE AUTHENTICATED!!

Please take a moment to register by joining this tribe.

IT IS MANDATORY THAT ALL TRIBE MEMBERS REGISTER WITH THIS TRIBE IN ORDER TO CONTINUE RECEIVING FREE MEMBERSHIP!!

Tribe members who refuse to join this tribe will be considered of Alien status and membership will be revoked.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION!!

Processing of all tribe members must be completed by the end of the year.

http://tribes.tribe.net/tribeprocessingcenter

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 0 replies

Wake up from your desires: Life is a selfless vacation into spirit

2007-12-08T22:47:51Z

"Your ultimate goal is to be happy. Where is that happiness? Within you. If you want to have permanent happiness, it will never come from outside. If somebody makes you happy today, the same person will make you unhappy tomorrow. You are happiness and peace personified. Find that happiness and peace within you."

—His Holiness Sri Swami Satchidananda
This means that all the happiness we have experienced through outward means (other people, places and lowest of all 'things') is just a stimulation of our own inner happiness. This also means any happiness you experienced through these outward means is always inside you. All your great memories are there to reflect upon what a wonderful gift of life and 'free will' we have been given to reach our highest goal: self realization that we are: ever conscoius, ever aware, and ever blissful: satchidananda.
We are free, but me must realize this by many means, because most of us are in delusions. Travel is a very important one for most. Because when you travel without those who normally surrond you, family, most intimate relationships, and you are free of desire other than to know they Self through desireless means you lose a big part of your attachment. Travel thousands of miles to a new place where no one knows you. Life is a journey, not a carrear, or an enslavement to lower desires for lust and material things. Life is simple it is the system taught to us which we become entagled in a web of complicated delusions and possessions through weakened will. Life is a vacation to higher awareness. Not service to a system that cares only to enslave you. Still your mind and open your third eye, through yoga, meditation, studying of teachings, and learning to tune into the divine teachings constantly surronding you.
Through the good and bad the universe is always trying to get through to us a message. Through our still minds we are better abled to recieve these messages. Many of us interpret things as good or bad (i still do sometimes) this is the dualistic movie the universe; OM; has created. Up and down, black and white, hot and cold, smooth and rough, reason and feeling, day and night. Evil is that which obstructs the truth of our existence. Evil can be interpreted as misunderstanding of our nature: selfless, endless love. Nothing is bad; we learn from all. "Good things", easy, pleasing things make us appreciative and thankful (at first) that we may live in such a beautiful world. Then comes our suffering, which we have been taught to think of as "bad". These things are not bad because they are teaching us something; always a lesson, and they bring us closer to our Spirit. It is often when we are hurt or lowest we re-orient our values to what really is important to our soul. Sufferings also allow us to appreciate the good even more. Because 'the good' things would become dull and eventually 'bad' if we did not have reminders of our path to create trials. there is a yoga affirmation "each wave of trials only brings me higher" Tis true. That is why you are lucky for all that you recieve; thus it is all good because it is leading to a beautiful, eternal bliss. and it will come sooner if you are open to the messages being sent from all around you.
"When you dont do what you want, then you may do what you like" - Indian master
We must give up the constant demans of the ego: sense pleasures, instant fufillment; and begin what is truley good for us, a devotion to our knowing our Soul; the Self; The Infinite Spirit. "DESTROY WRONG DESIRE NOW LEST IF FOLLOW YOU INTO THE NEXT LIFE" -Swamiji Sri Yukteswar. Dissolve the bubble of the ego into the ocean of spirit.
"All things in the future will improve if you are making spiritual effort now."- Swamiji Sri Yukteswar

posted in Consciousness and Sexuality - 5 replies