by the way, I've been married 18 years and a month.

Infidelity - lack of faithfulness.

Each set of lovers needs to define for themselves what the limits are. What the rules are. What is ok and what is hurtful.

And if a partner breaks those rules, and does what they know is hurtful... That's so hard.

I would define infidelity as the breech of a contract.
I would think no one put a gun to someones head to make them commit to a relationship. At least I'd hope not....

It was a contious choice. So there is some accountability on their end.

So, ok, maybe somewhere feelings or needs change...that happens to us all...

still, that isnt an open invitation to deceive your partner or yourself for that matter.

Maintain your personal respect and integrity and tell the truth.
Also, why should your partner be upholding their end when you arent?

There is no justification for being selfish either.
That is not what a pretnership is based on.
When you enter a relationship, with that comes the intent to include someone besides yourself.

It is true monogamy is not for all. And that is TOTALLY OK.
but whatt is NOT ok is deception and or double stanndards.

If someone backed out on me, II'd rather them go then live a lie any day.
I personally do not want someone who does not want me back.

Giving of one's self is not a gift if it is not given freely. And a relationship is a benefit, not a requirment in my life.

But as for committments and/or breeching them (infidelity), there are no gurantees in life.
I am one who prefers monogamy, it suits me.
But I also understand everything in life is transitional and everything changes.

My relationships last for long periods of time, but nothing lasts forever, or perhaps it will, but I cannot really know that until it has.

Still, what I expect from a partner is respect and honest. To be his true self.
If I cant meet his needs or vise versa, I wish him well. All I expect is the truth.
But I would never deceive or tollerate deception.

not bad - but if you ask someone to keep an agreement - the only way to know if they'll keep em is if they spoke up and said "it's not an agreement I want to make" - unfortunately - people do make agreements and it's only after THEY brake them when you know they can't keep em.

<<I would define infidelity as the breech of a contract. >>

this terminology in relationships ..feels cold and impersonal and adversarial..

lawyer talk is something, I personaly, like to stay away from when dealing with friends and family.

Infidelity is a crime in America and perhaps most other places..

a crime?!!

I guess we know what would happen if we did not have a space shortage in the prison system.